MISTI-Con 2017 Thoughts

I had an exciting time at MISTI-Con last weekend, these three posts chronicle my time pre, mid and post MISTI-Con 2017.

Pre-MISTI

I'm sitting on a bus, on my way to MISTI-Con, and I am nervous. While I have been to conventions before, both big and small, but this is different. This will be the first year that I am going to a convention alone. The last time I went to MISTI-Con I was only there with a day pass, and I was only there for a few of the daytime hours. This time it's a whole new ball game. I will be there for the entirety of the convention, and I will be going solo. It's no secret that I love Harry Potter. I've got over 90 copies of Harry Potter books, I've got robes and ties and scarves and cauldrons. I listen to wizard rock, and read fanfiction.

Yet I still feel like there is something missing.

I've started blogging for a few reasons, to increase my writing skill, to share my ideas, to 'put my name out there' as it were. The main reason however is that I miss the internet. There was a time when I had podcasts memorized (I could recognize people by voice alone) I was as dialed in like you wouldn't believe. Then I started college, and classes took over pretty much everything. I still loved Harry Potter; but I had to adjust my focus. I still wandered; I've had several classes where my essays have been about Harry Potter, still I feel that I have lost my way with the fandom.

I love the community, but especially since last year I feel like I've come away from it. At the end of spring semester 2016, a little over a year ago, I got a very serious concussion. I've since been re-concussed and I still suffer from a few lingering symptoms, one of which is an aversion to screens. It gets better every day, but it means that at times like these, where I am writing a post on a moving vehicle, I am probably going to have to stop soon so that I don't make myself sick. Due to my injury, I did not finish my coursework for the Spring semester until the beginning of the fall semester. Last winter break was the first time that I went without homework for almost a year, and that was itself a short break.

So now that I am on summer vacation, it feels very strange to not have any work to do. Of course, I say this as I head to a convention, so it isn't like I'm not going to be busy. Between the convention and the translators' conference and my trip abroad and my family vacation and my 7 weeks at Middlebury, I'm going to be very busy. That's part of the issue, though isn't it? I've got almost no free time for the entirety of the summer. Some might think that a bad thing, but I disagree. For me, free time is extraordinarily difficult. I must always keep myself busy, or else I go mad.  (And I don’t even have a box!)

Mid-MISTI

So, this is the winding down of my third day at MISTI. I'm a bit incredulous that I once thought I would be going this alone. The theme of this MISTI is "Coming Home," and that's what this feels like. I'm so comfortable here, and everyone I have met has been a genuine joy to interact with. I'm so glad I came here and that I am spending time with these amazing people, who really do feel like family. I have high levels of anxiety, so the fact that I can feel so at home here is a testament to how welcoming our community really is. I've loved the panels and events that I have been to, and I am currently having the time of my life. I ended up missing the wizard rock shows, which was disappointing, but if there is one thing I have learned from cons it's that I can't do everything. In that respect, it's not that different from classes. If I'm being honest I think we'd all benefit from time-turners.

I've learned so much already, from people running panels and audience alike. Everything from the importance of the paper you use with publishing, to Scorbus head canons, to Harry Potter as Therapy. I've participated in trivia, seen Snape with a guitar, found poetry in on page 434(PoA) and seen examples of Harry Potter as social justice. I marvel at the fact that I am here and that I am so lucky, and I am humbled at the privilege this gives me, to be able to do these things and meet these people and have such a good time in life. I'm happier than I have been in a long time, and I imagine that in the future I will look back and smile.

To cross fandoms on you, I solemnly swear that in this moment I feel infinite.

Post-MISTI

Wow. These past few days have been some of the most awesome I've had in a good long while. The people in this fandom are so genuinely kind and it honestly was a whole other world. Moving my hotel to one on-site really did make an enormous difference. All my time at MISTI was excellent, but being with everyone so closely was a distinct experience, and one for the better. MISTI-Con 2019 is going to be in a new venue, and while I do love the Margate location, I understand. As someone who was both away from and staying with the convention I can confirm that while I loved it all, I was happiest with everyone else. There are so many things I could say about this amazing experience, but I think I'll stick with two words ― Thank You.

Word-for-Sense

The title for this blog is based on a classic and basic issue in translation: word-for-word or sense-for-sense. That said, even though the very name of this blog is based on translation, I haven't really been talking about translation on here. I suppose that is because for me, translation is an intimate process, and I don't always feel comfortable talking about it. It’s probably because of the imposter syndrome I tend to feel about anything and everything I've ever done or do. The feeling is an uncomfortable one, but confidence doesn't come easy for me.

My translations themselves, well, I don't particularly like sharing. I'm always terrified that I have mistranslated something, or that something is somehow 'not right' in ways I'm not fully sure I can explain. I worry that my fluency in Spanish is not good enough for proper translation and find myself hounding down words in dictionaries, picking at the poem until it is nothing but words. I tend to go for very literal translations, keeping faithful to the word, and yet my heart longs for giving instead the sense that comes from such rich poetry. Translating is maddening and sometimes I wonder why I ever thought I could do it, and others I wonder how I could possibly do anything else.

I'm doing an independent study on translation this semester and even though there are only five weeks left of class I haven't sent my professor any poems because I am terrified he will hate them. That said if I don't send him something soon he will probably fail me, so I have resolved to send him at least two poems by Friday, no matter how much I dislike the verse. (My translation I mean, the original poems are gorgeous). The only way I can improve is if I get feedback, but like most people, I am scared of rejection. Everyone fails sometimes, it's a fact of life, but that doesn't make it comfortable.