I am currently studying at Middlebury Language Schools. This post (not including this paragraph or the title) is excerpted from a journal entry from 7:17 PM on Wednesday the 8th 2017, just a couple hours after the first ever post on this blog. Spelling and grammatical mistakes included.
It's not that I'm finding writing particularly difficult these days, it's that the writing I am doing feels difficult for me. I struggle with being able to grasp certain topics because I am not entirely sure about how they interact with my own self and how I view the world. My issue is I think, entirely dependent on the fact that my world view is fractured in ways that is difficult for even myself to understand. The way that I move in the world has been changed, utterly and that is a really scary thing for me. My opinions, thoughts, points of strength are all things that I have stood by and that are now falling away. I really do wonder if a past version of myself would recognize me as who I am now. And I certainly would not want to be my past self. And I do not think I would wish to be my present self were it not that the future is so uncertain I find it hard to contemplate.
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